Going through separation and divorce is incredibly challenging. The day my marriage ended, something inside me shattered. My world was turned upside down. As a married woman, I had envisioned my marriage as a "happily ever after," believing my husband's role was to protect, lead, and guide me. However, in September 2017, as I filled garbage bags with clothes for myself and my six-year-old son to leave for a women's shelter, the hope and dream I once had of feeling protected and loved were destroyed. 

 

As I went through the separation and the process leading up to the divorce, I felt worthless, hopeless, ashamed, and alone. I believed my life was stained, marked, and forever discarded. I no longer knew who I was; my identity had been defined by being a wife and mother. The idea of trying to rebuild my life felt overwhelming. Not only was I responsible for taking care of myself, but I also had my son, who was looking up to me. I wondered who would protect and guide me now and how I could raise a child without his father.

 

If I had to describe the year my marriage ended in a single word, it would be "lost." I felt as though I had lost my hopes and dreams and forfeited the chance to live a fulfilling life in God. I believed I had exhausted God's patience and started to wonder if He still had time to look at me and bless me with hope and a future as promised in Jeremiah 29:11.

 

My divorce crushed my dreams and left me grappling with feelings of failure, disappointment, anger, and shame. Many mental health professionals liken the grieving process during a divorce to the grief experienced after the death of a loved one. Divorce can feel like an isolating journey, but are we truly alone? Does God witness our struggles during this time? Can God understand what we are experiencing?

 

The answer is a resounding YES! The Bible reassures us that God sees us and understands our pain. As Jesus, God experienced loss, disappointment, rejection, abandonment, ridicule, and sorrow. Therefore, God truly understands our struggles since He has faced them as a human. I can attest to this truth because, during the difficult journey of my divorce, He showed up and helped me through the process.

 

Initially, I found it frightening to call on God for help. I believed I had disappointed Him by walking away from my marriage, and I struggled to accept His forgiveness, even though I desperately wanted it. The truth is that I was paralyzed by fear, which temporarily prevented me from hoping and believing that I could be made whole again. I thought I had to figure everything out on my own, but the more I tried, the harder it became to process my feelings. Eventually, I decided to bring everything to God, my Abba, knowing He was all I had left. I found comfort in that He was waiting for me with open arms.  

 

With God's help, I started rebuilding my life one piece at a time. Reflecting on His words helped me understand the truth of who I really was, and I embraced those truths. I came to believe the truth from Romans 8:38-39 which states, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

 

This verse helped me realize that navigating my separation and divorce was a challenge, but it was not the end for me. Divorce could not separate me from the love of God. Living alone and raising my son could not separate me from His love. What I truly needed was hope in Jesus Christ. As long as I choose Him as my protector, provider, and guide, nothing and no one can separate me from His love. I can move forward, knowing that His plan for my life hasn't changed. I let go of bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness with this understanding.

 

Today, I embrace life fully, empowered to love freely, forgive quickly, and welcome the joy each morning brings. With the support of my Abba, I navigate the next chapters of my life with newfound confidence. I have set boundaries that keep me grounded, knowing that nothing can steal my joy without my consent. My relationship with my ex-husband is positive as we work together to raise our son. Despite juggling two homes, my son is thriving and filled with hope, which is all I've ever wanted for him. I give God all the glory for making this possible, and I wish the same for you.

 

My dear sister, we were never meant to weather the storms of life on our own. The future holds no fear when we accept the shelter God provides in our times of distress. There exists a sacred refuge in His presence, beneath the protective cover of His wings, where we can truly seek solace. In turning to Him, we discover comfort, protection, and the clarity and guidance we desperately need. God's blessings overflow, more than compensating for any losses we may have faced. His grace knows no bounds. When God redeems and restores, our testimony becomes a powerful weapon against the enemy, and shame no longer has a place in our lives.

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Separation or divorce can be incredibly challenging, but it’s also an opportunity for renewal. Allow God to guide you on a transformative journey of redemption and restoration, helping you reclaim the vibrant identity you were always meant to have. 

 

If my story resonates, let's talk. I'd love to hear yours.