Transforming "I Have To" into "I Get To": Empowering Your Perspective

How often do you hear yourself say, "I have to…"?

• I have to go to work.

• I have to cook dinner.

• I have to exercise.

• I have to pray.

That seemingly simple phrase, "I have to," carries a significant weight. It is infused with pressure and expectation, often leading to feelings of guilt and, at times, resentment. This language transforms our daily experiences into an unending list of obligations, making life feel like a relentless treadmill of duties we are forced to navigate. Each time we utter these words, we reinforce the notion that we are bound by responsibilities, leaving little room for personal choice, fulfillment, or joy. Instead of empowering us, it can feel like a heavy chain, constraining our freedom and enthusiasm as we drag ourselves through our relentless to-do lists. But what if we shifted the language? What if instead of "I have to," we said "I get to"?

• I get to go to work and use my gifts.

• I get to cook dinner and nourish myself or my family.

• I get to move my body and honor my health.

• I get to pray and connect with the God who loves me.

This small change turns obligation into opportunity, guilt into gratitude, and pressure into purpose. By consciously choosing to focus on the positive aspects of our responsibilities, we can foster a more optimistic outlook on life.

The truth is, you don't have to do anything you don't choose to. God has gifted us with the extraordinary gift of free will, allowing us to navigate our lives through conscious choices every single day. When we embrace a mindset of "have to," we diminish that divine power, surrendering ourselves to a life marked by guilt and obligation. Scripture beautifully highlights the profound significance of our choices, reminding us that each decision shapes our journey and reflects our true selves.

• Deuteronomy 30:19 – "This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live."

  → God Himself gives us the dignity of choice.

• Joshua 24:15 – "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

  → Joshua didn't say "we have to," he declared, "we will." That's a chosen commitment.

• 2 Corinthians 9:7 – "Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."

  → God doesn't delight in duty done out of guilt—He loves a willing heart.

Pressure vs. Permission

When you navigate life with an "I have to" mindset, you may frequently encounter feelings of pressure and obligation. In this space, you often find yourself:

• Striving to meet the expectations set by others which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and stress.

• Acting out of a sense of guilt or fear, feeling compelled to fulfill duties that may not resonate with your true desires.

• Functioning under a cloud of obligation, where daily tasks feel burdensome rather than uplifting.

Conversely, when you embrace an "I get to" perspective, a transformative shift occurs. You begin to:

• Perceive your everyday responsibilities as invaluable privileges, filled with opportunities for growth and connection.

• Operate from a foundation of gratitude and freedom, lightening your emotional load and enhancing your overall well-being.

• Align your actions with a sense of purpose and joy, igniting a deeper passion for the life you lead.

Coaching Challenge

This week, notice how often you say "I have to." Pause and reframe:

1. Instead of "I have to do laundry", say "I get to have clean clothes."

2. Instead of "I have to pay bills", say "I get to keep the lights on."

3. Instead of "I have to go to work", say "I get to provide for myself and others."

Notice how the shift in language changes your energy. You'll feel less like a slave to your to-do list and more like a grateful steward of God's blessings.

Remember, God doesn't force us into a life of "have to." He invites us into a life of "get to." Each moment is a choice—a chance to step into joy, gratitude, and freedom.

So today, remind yourself: I don't have to. I get to!